I just read my last post which was from about a month ago, and I noticed I talked a lot about how dark it is getting. What was I thinking. This week I watched the sunset starting during my last class of the day....at 3:30pm. Now that's getting dark. Morning comes at 8am. And we still have more than a month to go before the solstice. I've been warned to expect 10:00-2:30 kind of daylight, and I'm very interested to see what that will feel like. Because this is now as dark as it ever gets in Toronto, maybe a little darker. And I would love to write about something new, but really this is an overriding fact of life here right now. It's a little easier to stay up past 7pm, but so hard to get up in the morning. Both Kevin and I feel like we pick up Beth from daycare in "the middle of the night". And everyone is telling us how lucky we are this year. How this is the warmest and nicest fall they've had in 130 years ! Yikes. There is no snow yet, to which I'm grateful, and it does not rain everyday to which I'm also grateful, but we haven't seen the sun now in 3 or 4 weeks, which is a little rough.
It has started to put me in the mood for Christmas. We went to Ikea and bought lights and a beautiful light up paper star, which is very common here, and a Christmas tree. Beth and I watched our first Christmas special today, a classic "Muppet Family Christmas" and she danced through most of the songs. I think it will be very fun with her this year. I am looking forward to playing carols with her, and helping to make cookies (she learned how to cut them out at daycare) and her starting to be aware that something special is happening in this time of year. At work we were discussing that as adults we spend a lot of our time at christmas recreating the parts from our youth that were magical to us, because that was when the holiday was its most exciting. I would say that's true, but now that I have my own child I find I am focusing more on making sure that those memories are created for her and that this is an exciting and fun time. She has years to be jaded by commercialism and family pressures. I'd like to give her at least a few of magic and wonder.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Rememberance Day
Today is remembrance Day in Canada and in Sweden it's nothing. It's been an odd feeling this year it's the first time I have been completely removed from the holiday and while it is often overlooked, it's one that for is very touching and melancholy.
Both my grandpa's and my great-grandpa's fought in the Great Wars. And while I have opinions on why government's join wars and how they conduct themselves and choose to send people into danger I have great respect for a generation who unknowingly sacrificed their innocence sometimes for a just cause and sometimes for something they were not sure about. I celebrate Remembrance Day not to think of heroes, or conquests or national honour, but because someone who could not know what they were doing had to sacrifice a piece of their humanity and then were asked to ignore that once they returned home. In the present day and age it's one of the few times we still acknowledge the loss of a generation and the loss of innocence in our culture after all.
Sweden did not play an active role in either conflict and there's very little sense here of that history. Much less so than I expected given that the fighting was so close to where they were and they were in real danger for many years from invasion. I missed having that sense of awareness. One of the other Canadian teachers was thoughtful before the day and made poppies for people to wear and sent out a reminder and a copy of John McCrae's poem. I can not say how much I appreciated his thoughtfulness.
Both my grandpa's and my great-grandpa's fought in the Great Wars. And while I have opinions on why government's join wars and how they conduct themselves and choose to send people into danger I have great respect for a generation who unknowingly sacrificed their innocence sometimes for a just cause and sometimes for something they were not sure about. I celebrate Remembrance Day not to think of heroes, or conquests or national honour, but because someone who could not know what they were doing had to sacrifice a piece of their humanity and then were asked to ignore that once they returned home. In the present day and age it's one of the few times we still acknowledge the loss of a generation and the loss of innocence in our culture after all.
Sweden did not play an active role in either conflict and there's very little sense here of that history. Much less so than I expected given that the fighting was so close to where they were and they were in real danger for many years from invasion. I missed having that sense of awareness. One of the other Canadian teachers was thoughtful before the day and made poppies for people to wear and sent out a reminder and a copy of John McCrae's poem. I can not say how much I appreciated his thoughtfulness.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Changing of the Season
The days are getting shorter and I am starting to be a bit nervous for the winter. It's all well and good to say "oh yeah, there's 5 hours of sunlight a day" until you start to approach it. I am a person who is very sensitive to the light/dark, I wake up when it's bright and sunny and sleep when it's dark. Does anyone spot the problem for me living in Northern Sweden? Yeah, Me too. So it's Friday night and I was ready to go to bed at 7pm (sundown these days). What will I do when it's 2pm?
There are other changes I'm noticing too.Sundsvall is not so exotic anymore, it's the place I live like Toronto. I know the streets, have favourite places to go, I have a routine. This is great and kind of deflating. I like feeling like I'm at home, it's safer and more pleasant in the everyday, but it means I have to go farther for adventure.
Beth is changing rapidly. She can reach on top of tables, puts toys away, clothes in the laundry, items in the garbage (sometimes the right ones) and this week we were learning to roll down a hill. She has her first school photos on Monday, and I can't believe it. I wonder how many fridge magnets and key chains I can buy. I'm so proud of her and excited for her, and she hasn't even done anything, but it's such a first hallmark of being a child.
There are other changes I'm noticing too.Sundsvall is not so exotic anymore, it's the place I live like Toronto. I know the streets, have favourite places to go, I have a routine. This is great and kind of deflating. I like feeling like I'm at home, it's safer and more pleasant in the everyday, but it means I have to go farther for adventure.
Beth is changing rapidly. She can reach on top of tables, puts toys away, clothes in the laundry, items in the garbage (sometimes the right ones) and this week we were learning to roll down a hill. She has her first school photos on Monday, and I can't believe it. I wonder how many fridge magnets and key chains I can buy. I'm so proud of her and excited for her, and she hasn't even done anything, but it's such a first hallmark of being a child.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
First day of Skola
Kevin and I began work this week. Which is great, overwhelming, exhausting and different. Maybe more so for me as I have been on parental leave for 15 months, but still for both of us. For example it's 9pm and Kevin is asleep, has been since 8:30pm, something totally unheard of for him.
To some extent it is easy to say that teaching is teaching and kids are kids no matter where you go. They all struggle to find themselves, understand the world, make it through their education and maybe even look cool doing it. Teachers everywhere care about their students, stress about the difficulties, try to hold everyone together through the year and enjoy their vacations ;)
There are cultural differences though, and often so subtle that they can almost be disturbing as a result. You think you understand something, but not quite, and that is very unsettling for me. For example, Sweden has released a new curriculum this year. It is a significant change over past curriculums, grades are assigned as early as Year 6, the grading scheme has gone from G, VG, MVG to A-F where A is the highest and F is a failure, abilities (expectations) are laid out for each subject and topic.
If you know Ontario education, pretty similar right? And yet not. First, grades as early as Year 6 (before it wasn't until Year 9), really? How do you know how someone is doing? How can you measure achievement to the parents? How do you ensure a child reads? This is a system I will never be part of (as it no longer exists) so I don't know. Next the grades themselves, A-F, pretty familiar, except they have an E here (which does make sense, so that's a total oversight of someone back home in North American education), and it's entirely a rubric based system. You don't grade a paper and offer a percentage. Students abilities are matched on a rubric, or better yet the assignment is prepared in such a way that a student aims for a particular grade they wish to achieve and that is explicitly stated. Your final grade is not the average of all your grades, but the minimum level you reached. So if there are 20 expectations and you receive A in 19 of them, but E in 1 your overall grade is an E. This I have trouble with, probably because I'm a math and science person and averages just make sense to me, plus it doesn't agree with the Swedish ethos of lagom (not to big or too small, just in the middle). Talking with two of the other new teachers they liken it to swimming or skating where if you could not complete all the skills you did not advance, but mentally it is taking me much more to adjust to.
But see it's just the small things. I will still teach atomic theory, students will have homework and assignments. I sure we will argue about forgotten pencils and if their dog ate their homework. The tripping will be in the things I assume I know and understand. Wish me luck!
To some extent it is easy to say that teaching is teaching and kids are kids no matter where you go. They all struggle to find themselves, understand the world, make it through their education and maybe even look cool doing it. Teachers everywhere care about their students, stress about the difficulties, try to hold everyone together through the year and enjoy their vacations ;)
There are cultural differences though, and often so subtle that they can almost be disturbing as a result. You think you understand something, but not quite, and that is very unsettling for me. For example, Sweden has released a new curriculum this year. It is a significant change over past curriculums, grades are assigned as early as Year 6, the grading scheme has gone from G, VG, MVG to A-F where A is the highest and F is a failure, abilities (expectations) are laid out for each subject and topic.
If you know Ontario education, pretty similar right? And yet not. First, grades as early as Year 6 (before it wasn't until Year 9), really? How do you know how someone is doing? How can you measure achievement to the parents? How do you ensure a child reads? This is a system I will never be part of (as it no longer exists) so I don't know. Next the grades themselves, A-F, pretty familiar, except they have an E here (which does make sense, so that's a total oversight of someone back home in North American education), and it's entirely a rubric based system. You don't grade a paper and offer a percentage. Students abilities are matched on a rubric, or better yet the assignment is prepared in such a way that a student aims for a particular grade they wish to achieve and that is explicitly stated. Your final grade is not the average of all your grades, but the minimum level you reached. So if there are 20 expectations and you receive A in 19 of them, but E in 1 your overall grade is an E. This I have trouble with, probably because I'm a math and science person and averages just make sense to me, plus it doesn't agree with the Swedish ethos of lagom (not to big or too small, just in the middle). Talking with two of the other new teachers they liken it to swimming or skating where if you could not complete all the skills you did not advance, but mentally it is taking me much more to adjust to.
But see it's just the small things. I will still teach atomic theory, students will have homework and assignments. I sure we will argue about forgotten pencils and if their dog ate their homework. The tripping will be in the things I assume I know and understand. Wish me luck!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Stockholm , city of Islands?
I came into the city by myself this morning; I need to renew my Hungarian passport and we decided that it would be easier if I went on my own instead of all of us trying to amuse Beth for a full day. So at 4am I walked from our apartment in Sallyhill to Sundsvall Central and sat down in my first class extrawide seat with breakfast, table, bottomless coffee and internet. 3 1/2 hours later I stepped out into a different world. Stockholm is a city. I know that is a very obvious statement, but after spending the last month in Sundsvall I'd kind of forgotten what a really big city felt like, and it felt like Stockholm. To start it is beautiful, fullstop. And has people and cars everywhere, it also has a lot to do.
But first things first. Me and the consulate had a date. A date that took 3 hours and a broken fingerprint machine. I was starting to have a panic attack that I'd have to come back to Stockhom again just for this when a consular employee finally came out, looked at the machine, hit it and it worked. I waited in line for over an hour, I was the second person in line this morning, spent 5 minutes filling out the form, scanning my fingerprints and taking a horrible photo and then another 45 min waiting for my information to be verified by Budapest. I left the office just before 12pm. What kind of amazed me about the experience is all the other people who had expired passports (mine was still good) and then got annoyed that they'd have to produce more evidence of their Hungarian citizenship to renew. I thought everyone knew not to let their passports (utlevel) expire or face dire consequences?? Anyway.
I had about 5 hours before I had to get back into my comfy first class seat and ride back to Sundsvall so I decided to see as much of the city as I could in that time. I feel pretty poor these days having had no income in 3 months and Stockholm is not a good city for that, supposedly, but I found my free afternoon thoroughly enjoyable and busy. I took the walking tour route suggested by Lonely Planet Sweden and added in a couple of my own excursions, mostly for recommended restaurants, so I could tell Kevin about them.
My first trip was to find Cafe Saturnus, this cafe is on a side street, unassuming and looks amazing! This and my next restaurant choice were both recommended by Mathias Dahlgren, and in a country of expensive are reasonable and amazing. Cafe Saturnus was recommended for its kannebulle, which are huge and the tastiest I've had so far, but their lunches and other treats also look fantastic. I would have posted pictures, but I felt awkward asking strangers if I could take images of their food. Definitely will return for a full meal with Kevin.
Then back Iwent to Centrum, I was going to walk through the city park, but ended up in the middle of Stockholm Pride. So much fun and so much calmer than Toronto Pride. Picked up a keychain from the army recruiting booth, doubt they have that at Toronto Pride, and learnt about massage, banking investments and how everyone is a person. Lots of kids, lots of visitors and lots of pride. Then I crossed over to the home of Swedish parliament, walked right through the middle and then over the bridge and onto the Royal Palace. I was on a mission searching for Karl Phillip for my friend, but for some reason he wouldn't give me his phone number. Did get to check out his place, pretty nice, you know if you're into that sort of thing. The palace is located in the medieval part of the city right across from Sweden's oldest building, a church. I then got to see the Novel museum (huge for a geek like me), Sweden's stock exchange and their school of art and design, all in one square.
The medieval city is where I spent most of my afternoon, wandering around its narrow streets, looking in unique clothing, design and textile stores. This area of the city is much quieter and smaller feeling than the rest. I think if I were to live in Stockholm, this is where I would want to live. I took one trip outside this area to find Nystekt Strömming. This place took me awhile. I was looking for a restaurant, but it's more of a hot dog stand. A hot dog stand with fresh, local, Slow Movement approved Swedish food. Also fantastic. I had fried fish on bread with mustard and dill, and for 40 Kr. It is also the only place in Sweden that I found that is cash only, that I found kind of mind boggling as most other places penalize you for using cash. I have definitely found a new favorite restaurant.
I rounded out the afternoon on the Knight's island, looking at the most beautiful lake views in Stockholm, right after my camera died so sorry no pics, and then a quick jaunt through the shopping district. I have even more severe sticker shock right now. I'm glad that our jobs are in the small town of Sundsvall and I don't think I'd ever be able to buy anything in Stockholm, except of course fried street fish.As a side comment, before I came I found out that Stockholm is made up of a series of islands, so I expected it to feel well oceanic? like islands?, but the city is so well established overtop and the islands so close together that often you don't even realize your crossing a bridge, its not like the danube, or thames or in NYC. Crazy weird, especially as they have more than anyone else. Guess I can see why people chose it as home though, burn a bridge, easy to defend.
One more place I have to talk about, Kulturhuset Stockholm. Everytown has a culture house which has conference rooms, exhibits and the library. but the one in downtown stockholm is again amazing. It's 5 floors, was full of Pride, and the entire 4th floor is devoted to children, rum för barn. I want to bring Beth on the 4 hour train ride just to take her to the library. They had a handson exhibit having turned Mumni storybook into a play and discover ground. Grouped books by age, had an infant area with an entertainer, costume area and stage, art studio, and its all free. All the children, except the ones leaving, looked happy and the parents relaxed.
Now I'm going to sit back in my seat, enjoy my pickled herring and kaviar and savour the rest of this first class lifetyle.
But first things first. Me and the consulate had a date. A date that took 3 hours and a broken fingerprint machine. I was starting to have a panic attack that I'd have to come back to Stockhom again just for this when a consular employee finally came out, looked at the machine, hit it and it worked. I waited in line for over an hour, I was the second person in line this morning, spent 5 minutes filling out the form, scanning my fingerprints and taking a horrible photo and then another 45 min waiting for my information to be verified by Budapest. I left the office just before 12pm. What kind of amazed me about the experience is all the other people who had expired passports (mine was still good) and then got annoyed that they'd have to produce more evidence of their Hungarian citizenship to renew. I thought everyone knew not to let their passports (utlevel) expire or face dire consequences?? Anyway.
I had about 5 hours before I had to get back into my comfy first class seat and ride back to Sundsvall so I decided to see as much of the city as I could in that time. I feel pretty poor these days having had no income in 3 months and Stockholm is not a good city for that, supposedly, but I found my free afternoon thoroughly enjoyable and busy. I took the walking tour route suggested by Lonely Planet Sweden and added in a couple of my own excursions, mostly for recommended restaurants, so I could tell Kevin about them.
My first trip was to find Cafe Saturnus, this cafe is on a side street, unassuming and looks amazing! This and my next restaurant choice were both recommended by Mathias Dahlgren, and in a country of expensive are reasonable and amazing. Cafe Saturnus was recommended for its kannebulle, which are huge and the tastiest I've had so far, but their lunches and other treats also look fantastic. I would have posted pictures, but I felt awkward asking strangers if I could take images of their food. Definitely will return for a full meal with Kevin.
Then back Iwent to Centrum, I was going to walk through the city park, but ended up in the middle of Stockholm Pride. So much fun and so much calmer than Toronto Pride. Picked up a keychain from the army recruiting booth, doubt they have that at Toronto Pride, and learnt about massage, banking investments and how everyone is a person. Lots of kids, lots of visitors and lots of pride. Then I crossed over to the home of Swedish parliament, walked right through the middle and then over the bridge and onto the Royal Palace. I was on a mission searching for Karl Phillip for my friend, but for some reason he wouldn't give me his phone number. Did get to check out his place, pretty nice, you know if you're into that sort of thing. The palace is located in the medieval part of the city right across from Sweden's oldest building, a church. I then got to see the Novel museum (huge for a geek like me), Sweden's stock exchange and their school of art and design, all in one square.
The medieval city is where I spent most of my afternoon, wandering around its narrow streets, looking in unique clothing, design and textile stores. This area of the city is much quieter and smaller feeling than the rest. I think if I were to live in Stockholm, this is where I would want to live. I took one trip outside this area to find Nystekt Strömming. This place took me awhile. I was looking for a restaurant, but it's more of a hot dog stand. A hot dog stand with fresh, local, Slow Movement approved Swedish food. Also fantastic. I had fried fish on bread with mustard and dill, and for 40 Kr. It is also the only place in Sweden that I found that is cash only, that I found kind of mind boggling as most other places penalize you for using cash. I have definitely found a new favorite restaurant.
I rounded out the afternoon on the Knight's island, looking at the most beautiful lake views in Stockholm, right after my camera died so sorry no pics, and then a quick jaunt through the shopping district. I have even more severe sticker shock right now. I'm glad that our jobs are in the small town of Sundsvall and I don't think I'd ever be able to buy anything in Stockholm, except of course fried street fish.As a side comment, before I came I found out that Stockholm is made up of a series of islands, so I expected it to feel well oceanic? like islands?, but the city is so well established overtop and the islands so close together that often you don't even realize your crossing a bridge, its not like the danube, or thames or in NYC. Crazy weird, especially as they have more than anyone else. Guess I can see why people chose it as home though, burn a bridge, easy to defend.
One more place I have to talk about, Kulturhuset Stockholm. Everytown has a culture house which has conference rooms, exhibits and the library. but the one in downtown stockholm is again amazing. It's 5 floors, was full of Pride, and the entire 4th floor is devoted to children, rum för barn. I want to bring Beth on the 4 hour train ride just to take her to the library. They had a handson exhibit having turned Mumni storybook into a play and discover ground. Grouped books by age, had an infant area with an entertainer, costume area and stage, art studio, and its all free. All the children, except the ones leaving, looked happy and the parents relaxed.
Now I'm going to sit back in my seat, enjoy my pickled herring and kaviar and savour the rest of this first class lifetyle.
The value of friendship
A couple posts ago I spoke of being homesick and missing the community I had built in Canada. Something happened this last weekend that is helping me feel less of the impact of being in a strange new home.
Last week was my birthday and to celebrate we had a BBQ on the weekend inviting everyone we had met in Sundsvall and quite a few people we hadn't. Three of the women we will work with lent us their apartment for the party, ours is extremely small and fairly ugly while there's is large and beautiful, and gave our baby a place to sleep in the closet. For the grandparents I should probably point out that the closet was close to the size of Beth's room at home, it's just fun and very Harry Potterish to say she's sleeping in the closet.
It was a lot of fun, most of the people who came were new to town like us so we had hours of hilarity discussing all the ways things can be different, go wrong or trip you up in a new place. Food was tasty, thank you Kevin and Lenita, and it was a lovely way to begin a new year in a new place. We did not get to bed until 3am, and my daughter who normally sleeps until 8am was obliging enough to wake up at 6am. Being a new parent I'm pretty used to sleep deprivation, but this hurt. We had crashed at The Girls apartment, so we were just going to grab our things and go to ensure that they didn't wake up, but we couldn't access our stroller. We had locked it up in their storage room the previous day to leave for space for the party. So we took Beth to the park and let her toddle all her energy off until 9am. When we went back upstairs one of the women were awake. We chatted, retrieved our stroller and were about to go when she offered to watch Beth while we napped.
Unless you have been living with an infant and no outside support I don't know that I can quite describe my feelings of gratitude, in Toronto we would have taken her to Grandma's for the day and had a good sleep, but here we were looking forward to a day of tired, cranky temper tantrums and that was just us. The nap was amazing. I woke up two hours later to all three women in the apartment entertaining Beth and her having the time of her life as center of attention. After that we spent the rest of the day with them and between the 5 adults managed to satisfy one small girl. While I am still extremely grateful for the sleep I am most thankful for the offer, it demonstrates something I thought would take months if not longer to find. Looking out my window now is beginning to feel a bit more like home.
Last week was my birthday and to celebrate we had a BBQ on the weekend inviting everyone we had met in Sundsvall and quite a few people we hadn't. Three of the women we will work with lent us their apartment for the party, ours is extremely small and fairly ugly while there's is large and beautiful, and gave our baby a place to sleep in the closet. For the grandparents I should probably point out that the closet was close to the size of Beth's room at home, it's just fun and very Harry Potterish to say she's sleeping in the closet.
It was a lot of fun, most of the people who came were new to town like us so we had hours of hilarity discussing all the ways things can be different, go wrong or trip you up in a new place. Food was tasty, thank you Kevin and Lenita, and it was a lovely way to begin a new year in a new place. We did not get to bed until 3am, and my daughter who normally sleeps until 8am was obliging enough to wake up at 6am. Being a new parent I'm pretty used to sleep deprivation, but this hurt. We had crashed at The Girls apartment, so we were just going to grab our things and go to ensure that they didn't wake up, but we couldn't access our stroller. We had locked it up in their storage room the previous day to leave for space for the party. So we took Beth to the park and let her toddle all her energy off until 9am. When we went back upstairs one of the women were awake. We chatted, retrieved our stroller and were about to go when she offered to watch Beth while we napped.
Unless you have been living with an infant and no outside support I don't know that I can quite describe my feelings of gratitude, in Toronto we would have taken her to Grandma's for the day and had a good sleep, but here we were looking forward to a day of tired, cranky temper tantrums and that was just us. The nap was amazing. I woke up two hours later to all three women in the apartment entertaining Beth and her having the time of her life as center of attention. After that we spent the rest of the day with them and between the 5 adults managed to satisfy one small girl. While I am still extremely grateful for the sleep I am most thankful for the offer, it demonstrates something I thought would take months if not longer to find. Looking out my window now is beginning to feel a bit more like home.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Drive-In Bingo
Seriously, I do believe my title says it all. DRIVE-IN BINGO!!! This is a reason to move to northern Sweden, all by itself.
Every Wednesday night, at the TonHallen (Town Hall?) they host drive-in bingo in their parking lot. People stay in their cars, receive their cards, numbers are called over a loud speaker and if you win you honk your horn. It's awesome.
Now we do not own a car here, nor are planning to, but I want to go. I'm thinking just take 4 lawn chairs and set them up in a parking spot like a car, no one will notice right? Or if they object, bring the stroller; that is a vehicle. We could bring a school bell or an airhorn for signalling our win. I think its brilliant, like those people who walk through drive-throughs.
Every Wednesday night, at the TonHallen (Town Hall?) they host drive-in bingo in their parking lot. People stay in their cars, receive their cards, numbers are called over a loud speaker and if you win you honk your horn. It's awesome.
Now we do not own a car here, nor are planning to, but I want to go. I'm thinking just take 4 lawn chairs and set them up in a parking spot like a car, no one will notice right? Or if they object, bring the stroller; that is a vehicle. We could bring a school bell or an airhorn for signalling our win. I think its brilliant, like those people who walk through drive-throughs.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Things I never thought I'd do as a parent.
But the doll is one of those creepy, hard plastic, with the eyes that open and close, makes you think of a Stephen King, "DON'T OPEN THE CLOSET JANETTE, THE DOLL'S WILL SEE YOU", kind of doll. But she loves it.
For the past 2 weeks she's been picking up any baby, hard plastic doll she could find, hugging it and dragging it around everywhere. I'm not heartless, I just find them super creepy. So this weekend we went out and looked through all the dolls in the creepy doll section of the toy store to find Beth her very own. Why not get one I like you might ask. Well I don't like any hard plastic toy, but she just doesn't have the same reaction to the plush toys, and I love her, and it's not like she's learning to love psychotropic drugs or "Grand Theft Auto" or anything. I do feel that this is the first of many decisions as a parent I never thought I'd make. Who knows maybe we will let her get a pony?
Monday, July 25, 2011
Our first fika!
To say that fika is the process of having a coffee, or meeting for coffee is to dramatically understate the reverence given to this occassion. In fact there is no direct way to translate this term into English that conveys the full process or importance of it. When I checked in my swedish-english dictionary it said "coffee". That's like saying hockey is a "sport" in Canada.
Fika is a meeting with friends and strangers. A time to talk, discuss, socialize and there happens to be coffee and food as well. It is the social and shared aspect of this ritual that is really important, otherwise its just kaffe.
So yesterday all the new Canadians in Sundsvall met up with one of the locals at Barista a beautiful fairtrade, organic coffee house downtown. They have coccoon swing seats inside, a huge couch bed for lounging, outdoor tables, blankets in case you get cold, a play area for children, oh and delicious coffee and treats. It is beautiful. Should you find yourself in northern Sweden I definately reccommend it. But coming back to the point, we met on the patio, parked the strollers with the sleeping children and proceeded to sit and chat for the next 3 hours. Service is slow, but tasty. Atmosphere is relaxed and easy to spend time in. Once the kids woke up there were places for them to run around and play in, I enjoyed the inclusiveness of it. The only downside would be the price. I am still living through sticker shock, and the $20 CAD for 2 coffees and a brownie makes me feel slightly ill. I'm assuming once I start having a Swedish pay cheque that will hurt less.
Through this small Swedish ritual I am beginning to feel the growth of the community to which I am going to belong. It was really really nice. As an adult I have moved communities about every 4 years, and it is exciting and hard to restart, make new friends and form your sanity and support. Toronto, our last move was probably the hardest one we had made. Because the city is so big its hard to become close to people, and because I grew up there I had this false sense that it should happen quickly. It didn't. Only after 4 years there was I really beginning to feel a sense of community in my life (outside of family). I'm not saying we're there yet here, but I can see where the seeds of it start.
So I look forward to many fika, although it definitely means that I will have to keep my running in top gear or I will have to add clothes shopping to my list of things to do.
Fika is a meeting with friends and strangers. A time to talk, discuss, socialize and there happens to be coffee and food as well. It is the social and shared aspect of this ritual that is really important, otherwise its just kaffe.
So yesterday all the new Canadians in Sundsvall met up with one of the locals at Barista a beautiful fairtrade, organic coffee house downtown. They have coccoon swing seats inside, a huge couch bed for lounging, outdoor tables, blankets in case you get cold, a play area for children, oh and delicious coffee and treats. It is beautiful. Should you find yourself in northern Sweden I definately reccommend it. But coming back to the point, we met on the patio, parked the strollers with the sleeping children and proceeded to sit and chat for the next 3 hours. Service is slow, but tasty. Atmosphere is relaxed and easy to spend time in. Once the kids woke up there were places for them to run around and play in, I enjoyed the inclusiveness of it. The only downside would be the price. I am still living through sticker shock, and the $20 CAD for 2 coffees and a brownie makes me feel slightly ill. I'm assuming once I start having a Swedish pay cheque that will hurt less.
Through this small Swedish ritual I am beginning to feel the growth of the community to which I am going to belong. It was really really nice. As an adult I have moved communities about every 4 years, and it is exciting and hard to restart, make new friends and form your sanity and support. Toronto, our last move was probably the hardest one we had made. Because the city is so big its hard to become close to people, and because I grew up there I had this false sense that it should happen quickly. It didn't. Only after 4 years there was I really beginning to feel a sense of community in my life (outside of family). I'm not saying we're there yet here, but I can see where the seeds of it start.
So I look forward to many fika, although it definitely means that I will have to keep my running in top gear or I will have to add clothes shopping to my list of things to do.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Daycare Dilemmas
Daycare is something I am really struggling with right now. Before we arrived in Sundsvall I was REALLY EXCITED about the Swedish daycare system. It ranks second for expenditure by government from all OECD countries, not bad. It is highly subsidized, satisfies most/all reccommendations for high quality early childhood education, and works with parents work hours. Contrast this to the Canadian system of expensive, satisfying few of the overall reccommendations Brilliant. As with everything the detailed picture is not so easy.
We have been placed at a daycare near our house. Before I describe I need to say that I loved the daycare we were going to put Beth at in Toronto. I spent a lot of time researching it, meeting the people and arranging her care. It was a great place with caring, well trained instructors and I believe she would have thrived there. It's a hard standard to live up to.
Our daycare here is super convenient. Really at the age of 1 she could almost walk there on her own, it's literally out the back door. It's opening hours are also very convenient for us for work. But that's where my love of the place ends. All daycares here have some fantastic basics that are universal. They provide the children with breakfast, lunch, and snack. They spend as much time as possible outdoors. If we want to provide her with SSL (swedish as a second language) support we can. Some common oddities are also included, like babies nap in their own strollers, outside, in winter. But things like that are universal and we're learning to love the fresh air for her.
But this daycare is small, and is placed between an apartment building and dirt yard. It doesn't have many trees and they generally play on the pavement. The smallness is fine, except it means the big and small kid areas are easily mixed and small toys end up on the floor in the baby area. The staff seem very nice and caring, but there's few of them to a lot of children. I saw toddlers climbing on top of picnic tables or eating dirt for a while before stopped. I may be a snob, but it just made me uncomfortable.
So we've been shopping. We looked at a parent co-op daycare that is beautiful, has huge bright areas for the kids to play in, the teacher's seem really invested, as are the parents. But its far away and we would need to be involved during the daytime occassionally, not so good for our new full time jobs. The opening hours are also a little bit less which may mean mornings are a little tighter.
Ultimately I don't know what to do. I feel so much pressure to make the best decision for her, and if I make the wrong one now it will ultimately cause her to drop out of highschool pregnant and tatooed (not that tatooes are wrong). I know that's a bit extreme, but it really feels like the pervasive culture of parenting right now. Look at the 3 year olds who receive tutoring in NYC. That's normal there! I never want to be that parent, but I also don't want to be the parent who ranks my convenience higher than my child's education. I also don't want to over react, and if you know me at all ( which some of you do too well) I also have a wee bit of that tendancy.
Most of the time I feel that I am writing into the void, or a note home so family feels they are experiencing our trip with us. But this post I would love comments on. Anyone else know what I should do? Sometimes being an adult sucks, I preferred the level of decision making of what colour crayon to use. Somedays anyway.
We have been placed at a daycare near our house. Before I describe I need to say that I loved the daycare we were going to put Beth at in Toronto. I spent a lot of time researching it, meeting the people and arranging her care. It was a great place with caring, well trained instructors and I believe she would have thrived there. It's a hard standard to live up to.
Our daycare here is super convenient. Really at the age of 1 she could almost walk there on her own, it's literally out the back door. It's opening hours are also very convenient for us for work. But that's where my love of the place ends. All daycares here have some fantastic basics that are universal. They provide the children with breakfast, lunch, and snack. They spend as much time as possible outdoors. If we want to provide her with SSL (swedish as a second language) support we can. Some common oddities are also included, like babies nap in their own strollers, outside, in winter. But things like that are universal and we're learning to love the fresh air for her.
But this daycare is small, and is placed between an apartment building and dirt yard. It doesn't have many trees and they generally play on the pavement. The smallness is fine, except it means the big and small kid areas are easily mixed and small toys end up on the floor in the baby area. The staff seem very nice and caring, but there's few of them to a lot of children. I saw toddlers climbing on top of picnic tables or eating dirt for a while before stopped. I may be a snob, but it just made me uncomfortable.
So we've been shopping. We looked at a parent co-op daycare that is beautiful, has huge bright areas for the kids to play in, the teacher's seem really invested, as are the parents. But its far away and we would need to be involved during the daytime occassionally, not so good for our new full time jobs. The opening hours are also a little bit less which may mean mornings are a little tighter.
Ultimately I don't know what to do. I feel so much pressure to make the best decision for her, and if I make the wrong one now it will ultimately cause her to drop out of highschool pregnant and tatooed (not that tatooes are wrong). I know that's a bit extreme, but it really feels like the pervasive culture of parenting right now. Look at the 3 year olds who receive tutoring in NYC. That's normal there! I never want to be that parent, but I also don't want to be the parent who ranks my convenience higher than my child's education. I also don't want to over react, and if you know me at all ( which some of you do too well) I also have a wee bit of that tendancy.
Most of the time I feel that I am writing into the void, or a note home so family feels they are experiencing our trip with us. But this post I would love comments on. Anyone else know what I should do? Sometimes being an adult sucks, I preferred the level of decision making of what colour crayon to use. Somedays anyway.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Homesick (Not just because we need a baby sitter to go see Harry Potter)
Normally I spend the first month away from home quite miserable until I start to feel more local in my new situation. That hasn't really happened this time and I think mostly due to the fact I am travelling with my immediate family, my husband and daughter. Almost everything to date has felt like an adventure; I haven't been comparing everything to home or questioning why I left or waiting for the first month to be over as I know about this period I go through.
Today was the first time I could really describe myself as homesick. Both my husband, Kevin, and I are from quite closeknit families where we see or talk to each other regularly. It took us two weeks after arriving in Sundsvall to make it onto Skype with our parents. Due to our lack of internet, I hadn't even known my Dad had travelled to another country during that time. That was weird, and I felt quite isolated.
It also really has started to hit home about our lack of support. Our 13 months old daughter has started to hit the "terrible twos" (yes she is quite the overachiever). I think there's so many new things and she might be starting to realize we're not going "home" so it is overwhelming her. Also her awareness of the surrounding world has visibly increased in the last couple weeks alongside her frustration of not being able to express her desires. It has led to quite a few temper tantrums recently. At home we're quite spoiled, in that if we're frustrated or tired there's always a grandparent, aunt or uncle to help out, spend some time with Beth and let us regain our sanity. Yesterday there was just Kevin and I, trading off, trying to stop the screaming. Let me assure you, very little sanity left. I didn't really think about it until a friend turned up to go for a walk and Beth stopped, giggled and smiled. Apparently that novelty of it not being grumpy Mom or Dad was enough to make her feel better.
I miss having those people around who are automatically going to help Beth feel happy, loved and secure. I also miss the help and support that keep Kevin and I sane as we navigate this new world as parents (and who provide lovely babysitting services for us gratis). I know over time we can and will build that community here, but the realization of how much we've left behind is a bit hard today.
So if my family is reading this, I appreciate you, miss you and love you.
Today was the first time I could really describe myself as homesick. Both my husband, Kevin, and I are from quite closeknit families where we see or talk to each other regularly. It took us two weeks after arriving in Sundsvall to make it onto Skype with our parents. Due to our lack of internet, I hadn't even known my Dad had travelled to another country during that time. That was weird, and I felt quite isolated.
It also really has started to hit home about our lack of support. Our 13 months old daughter has started to hit the "terrible twos" (yes she is quite the overachiever). I think there's so many new things and she might be starting to realize we're not going "home" so it is overwhelming her. Also her awareness of the surrounding world has visibly increased in the last couple weeks alongside her frustration of not being able to express her desires. It has led to quite a few temper tantrums recently. At home we're quite spoiled, in that if we're frustrated or tired there's always a grandparent, aunt or uncle to help out, spend some time with Beth and let us regain our sanity. Yesterday there was just Kevin and I, trading off, trying to stop the screaming. Let me assure you, very little sanity left. I didn't really think about it until a friend turned up to go for a walk and Beth stopped, giggled and smiled. Apparently that novelty of it not being grumpy Mom or Dad was enough to make her feel better.
I miss having those people around who are automatically going to help Beth feel happy, loved and secure. I also miss the help and support that keep Kevin and I sane as we navigate this new world as parents (and who provide lovely babysitting services for us gratis). I know over time we can and will build that community here, but the realization of how much we've left behind is a bit hard today.
So if my family is reading this, I appreciate you, miss you and love you.
Friday, July 15, 2011
There are no laundromats in Sweden
Did anyone else know that? I learnt it shortly before we came here, read it in someone else's blog I think. It's true. In the past (1970's I think) the government decided that all apartment blocks should have free laundry in the basement. This leads to the lack of public laundromats as noone needs them. Too bad for backpacking tourists, great for us. Communal laundry is also quite scary, in fact it was one of things I was most nervous about before moving here. Sweden is generally a polite country with little crime, but breaking the laundry room laws can incite levels of aggression in Swedes that involve the police.
But so far, so good. Our building only has about 10 apartments that share one washer and dryer. There's a board you lock in your time (literally, so no one can move it). You have 3 hours and one hour for drying. Do not start early, do not go over. But the system seems to work efficiently (like many other things here) and I have yet to actually see someone in the room.
There's one washer, one dryer, a drying closet (picture below), a machine to press your sheets and a room that you can hang your clothes up in and then turn on a huge fan with which to dry them. I am amazed. The washing machine is tiny, probably half the size of mine at home. The dryer larger and less efficient, very few people seem to use it. The drying closet is literally a closet you hang your clothes in and run air through much like the room with the clothes line. The pressing machine is two rollers and use cloth and pressure to iron sheets and anything else you're brave enough to put through the machine. Overall I can get my wash, dry and ironing done in about 4 hours and so far haven't been locked in a room or my family drawn into a blood feud.
But so far, so good. Our building only has about 10 apartments that share one washer and dryer. There's a board you lock in your time (literally, so no one can move it). You have 3 hours and one hour for drying. Do not start early, do not go over. But the system seems to work efficiently (like many other things here) and I have yet to actually see someone in the room.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
An Icelandic Goodnight
I was going through pictures of our trip and found two really lovely photos of an Icelandic lullabye. We found these, if you can believe it, on our IcelandAir flight. Thought I would upload them to share the sweet goodnight thoughts.
sjukvård
As you may have read yesterday, we don’t have our personal numbers yet, so we don’t have healthcare. But no fears to my parents, I have been a responsible adult and purchased insurance for our first 2 months here. We have to call them first for permission, no problems they provide a collect number to call directly, except you can’t call collect from Sweden. Really there’s no way as far as we can tell. Now my daughter’s sick, but I am still a frugal woman and loathe calling on our mobile for billions SEK/minute and ask Kevin to figure out how to make phone calls on Skype. We buy credits, read the how to, and call...and they can’t hear us. We think that our furnitureless, rugless, pictureless apartment is a little too echoey for our poor laptop’s microphone. I finally yell slowly and loudly enough for the poor woman at the insurance agency to hear me and she offers to call me back. Hopefully incoming international calls are only millions SEK/minute (I am still frugal afterall).
We get the ok, go to the doctor prepared to pay and fill out the long reimbursement forms and.....they don’t charge us. Seemingly the promise that we will get personal numbers is enough for them to assign us a temporary number and examine our daughter (children are completely free of charge for medical care in Sweden). Lovely. So different from Mexico where it was a 100 USD to sit in the doctor’s office. They even had toys for Beth to play with, took a swab for strep and tested it on the spot, were lovely to her, a bit condescending to the paranoid first time parents and generally very laid back. Still don’t know what’s wrong with Beth, but we left armed with more Baby Tylenol (Alvudin here) and a lovely sense of their healthcare system and how it works well (Mr Harper may want to read that sentence again). The sad bunny went to bed hugging her bear, bum in the air asleep and all I can is wish her sweet dreams and a long restful night to help her feel better. And the same to all of you.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Queuing as National Sport
Since moving here, Kevin and I have been trying to establish our “right to reside”. As a Hungarian citizen (for the moment I’m ignoring my red and white half) I have a right to reside in Sweden for as long as I can support myself. No visas, no fees, supposedly less paperwork. But more queuing. We went to the Migration board last Thursday to take number 37 and see number 7 being called. Left as baby was cranky, thought we’d return. At school they told us that they had been informed we could not submit our paperwork until August as that is when our work contracts begin.
Now, I have the right to be here and live here for 3 months with no proof of work, so then the question is in order to fill out the paperwork why do I need to be working? Grrr. The school suggested we try to get our personal numbers, by flubbing and saying we were in the process with the migration board. Personal numbers are very important here, they’re like SIN numbers back home, but you use them for EVERYTHING....employment, leases, taxes, daycare rights, the doctor, bank accounts, personal ID cards, even the IKEA club card. You can not do anything in this society unless you have one. But can we get one, no not until we are through the migration board, and then after we apply it’s at least another four weeks.
Now this would not be terribly concerning except you need a personal number to get a bank account and without a bank account you can not pay for anything. They do not accept cash anymore at most places in Sweden. Stores yes, but doctor, daycare, any of your bills no. I could get a non-resident bank account, but then that haunts us for the rest of the time here. On the bright side, should we get a bank account someday, there are no fees and you may get a bit of a discount for not troubling them with cash, but we still have to get it. Think the landlord, utilities and daycare will mind waiting a couple of months before they get paid? I didn’t think so either.
Now, I have the right to be here and live here for 3 months with no proof of work, so then the question is in order to fill out the paperwork why do I need to be working? Grrr. The school suggested we try to get our personal numbers, by flubbing and saying we were in the process with the migration board. Personal numbers are very important here, they’re like SIN numbers back home, but you use them for EVERYTHING....employment, leases, taxes, daycare rights, the doctor, bank accounts, personal ID cards, even the IKEA club card. You can not do anything in this society unless you have one. But can we get one, no not until we are through the migration board, and then after we apply it’s at least another four weeks.
Now this would not be terribly concerning except you need a personal number to get a bank account and without a bank account you can not pay for anything. They do not accept cash anymore at most places in Sweden. Stores yes, but doctor, daycare, any of your bills no. I could get a non-resident bank account, but then that haunts us for the rest of the time here. On the bright side, should we get a bank account someday, there are no fees and you may get a bit of a discount for not troubling them with cash, but we still have to get it. Think the landlord, utilities and daycare will mind waiting a couple of months before they get paid? I didn’t think so either.
Friday, July 8, 2011
A stranger in a Swede land
First to all our family and friends I want to let you know we have arrived, are safe and starting to settle in. We do not have internet yet (so this is posted late), and only a local phone. Beth has had a rough couple days but is finally beginning to sort out her days and nights. She also loves mackerel, but not so much the Wasa bread. I will write more on our specific adventures in coming entries, but wanted to devote today to things I have learned about Swedes....
I have been living in Sundsvall, Sweden for 3 days now and it is a contradiction of exactly what I thought and the opposite of what I thought it would be.
Firstly, Ikea is a wonderland. At the Ikea here you can get ice cream out of machine, coffee out of a machine and buy almost anything you could think of. Poang, the chair we all love, means point, and I don’t know quite how they connect. Delivery is brilliant, when you have 4 carts of things. Finally, 8 hours is too long to spend in any one place, even if it is Ikea.
What else have I learned. Most Swedes truly are tall, blonde and gorgeous, as opposed to being reserved they are very touchy feely. They are not overly warm to strangers, but many will offer to help when you look truly lost. It’s a very safe place to walk around in, but half of the women have been physically assaulted. Alcohol (and everything else) is very expensive, but they do like to drink. Strangely, herring is not the major food group in their diet. In fact they don’t even really like fish that much except for salmon. They are obsessed with tacos and pizza. Grocery stores do not carry white vinegar or peanut butter, except for maybe one lonely jar in the international section. Everyone here has a car even though most live in walking distance of everything. They love to sit outside in the sun and swim in any available water. Laundry is very serious business where you need to reserve your spot in advance, and they have all manner of appliances in the laundry room I have no idea how to use (watch for Sunday’s instalment).
And most fascinating discovery of the day...all apartment buildings seems to have a skyddsrum, or air raid shelter. Does this concern anyone else? The signs look maintained so I don’t think it’s just a leftover from WWII. Maybe the Finns are attacking?
I have been living in Sundsvall, Sweden for 3 days now and it is a contradiction of exactly what I thought and the opposite of what I thought it would be.
Firstly, Ikea is a wonderland. At the Ikea here you can get ice cream out of machine, coffee out of a machine and buy almost anything you could think of. Poang, the chair we all love, means point, and I don’t know quite how they connect. Delivery is brilliant, when you have 4 carts of things. Finally, 8 hours is too long to spend in any one place, even if it is Ikea.
What else have I learned. Most Swedes truly are tall, blonde and gorgeous, as opposed to being reserved they are very touchy feely. They are not overly warm to strangers, but many will offer to help when you look truly lost. It’s a very safe place to walk around in, but half of the women have been physically assaulted. Alcohol (and everything else) is very expensive, but they do like to drink. Strangely, herring is not the major food group in their diet. In fact they don’t even really like fish that much except for salmon. They are obsessed with tacos and pizza. Grocery stores do not carry white vinegar or peanut butter, except for maybe one lonely jar in the international section. Everyone here has a car even though most live in walking distance of everything. They love to sit outside in the sun and swim in any available water. Laundry is very serious business where you need to reserve your spot in advance, and they have all manner of appliances in the laundry room I have no idea how to use (watch for Sunday’s instalment).
And most fascinating discovery of the day...all apartment buildings seems to have a skyddsrum, or air raid shelter. Does this concern anyone else? The signs look maintained so I don’t think it’s just a leftover from WWII. Maybe the Finns are attacking?
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